• Dina

She's in the Business of Misery

Updated: Jul 31

If you were to go back in my social media history you’d find some embarrassing misinformed hot takes in my early days of figuring out what feminism meant to me. It took years to unlearn what society instilled in me, that other women were my competition. The prettiest comes out on top, I was better because I valued books over makeup, I preferred hanging out with the boys. I laugh at these sentiments now but I think about the women I iced out instead of lifting up and I’m glad I’ve come as far as I have now. I barely remember that girl, fresh out of high school.


The same year I ended high school a song came out, “Misery Business”, by Paramore. All my friends fucking loved it but I could see myself in the song’s “whore” because I wasn’t built thin and narrow like lead singer, Hayley Williams, I was the girl with the body of an hourglass. So began my disdain for Paramore.


Fast forward to 2016, I’m screaming “Misery Business” in my car on my way to a 5am shift. I had begun to learn that you could like the problematic thing while acknowledging that it’s problematic. The song still fucking bangs, sans the slut-shaming. But not only can I enjoy the problematic thing, but I can also respect the band’s growth. Like me, they matured over the years.


Two years later, after the release of After Laughter, Williams announced live at a show in Nashville that they’d be playing “Misery Business” for the last time for a really long time. Before singing, she added:


"This is to every bad decision that led us here. This is to all the embarrassing things we might have said. But we owned up to it, and we grew.”


And that right there is growth (imagine that one gif inserted here).


Recently, I found myself wanting to listen to old Paramore songs, “Misery Business” included. And I wondered, how could I flip this into something fun. So below, please see my offering for a slightly revised version of “Misery Business” as the ultimate lesbian rock anthem:


[Verse 1]

I'm in the business of misery, let's take it from the top

She's got a body like an hourglass, it's ticking like a clock

It's a matter of time before we all run out

When I thought she was mine, he caught her by the heart

I waited eight long months, he finally set her free

I told her I couldn't lie, she was the only one for me

Two weeks and we caught on fire

He's got it out for me, but I wear the biggest smile

[Chorus]

Whoa, I never meant to brag

But I got her where I want her now

Whoa, it was never my intention to brag

To steal it all away from you now

But God, does it feel so good

'Cause I got her where I want her now

And if you could, then you know you would

'Cause God, it just feels so

It just feels so good

[Verse 2]

Second chances, they don't ever matter, people never change

Such a bore you're nothing more

I'm sorry, that'll never change

And about forgiveness, we're both supposed to have exchanged

I'm sorry honey, but I passed it up, now look this way

Well, there's a million other boys who do it just like you

Trying to charm your way to the vulnerable hearts of who

They want and what they like

It's easy if you do it right

Well I refuse, I refuse, I refuse!

[Chorus]

Whoa, I never meant to brag

But I got her where I want her now

Whoa, it was never my intention to brag

To steal it all away from you now

But God, does it feel so good

'Cause I got her where I want her right now

And if you could, then you know you would

'Cause God, it just feels so

It just feels so good

[Bridge]

I watched her wildest dreams come true

And not one of them involving you

Just watch my wildest dreams come true

Not one of them involving

[Breakdown]

Whoa, I never meant to brag

But I got her where I want her now

[Chorus]

Whoa, I never meant to brag

But I got her where I want her now

Whoa, it was never my intention to brag

To steal it all away from you now

But God, does it feel so good

'Cause I got her where I want her now

And if you could, then you know you would

'Cause God, it just feels so

It just feels so good

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